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Denmark Offers to Buy U.S.

After rebuffing Donald J. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.

“As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale,” a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. “We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale.”

“Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government,” the spokesperson added.

A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country “to be determined,” with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.

If Denmark’s bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. “We believe that, by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,” the spokesperson said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/denmark-offers-to-buy-us
why doesn't trump buy the uk instead. this too is just an island ...
The US is already preparing to buy the UK (with trade deals) after Brexit happens. They'll have to accept any crappy deal they can.
No, no, no. You see, Great Britain is an island, the UK includes GB and also Northern Ireland, part of another island. Then there are the Channel Islands and Mann, which are different. And England, Scotland and Wales play separately in football and cricket and rugby, but not in athletics or tennis. And...
The Brexit Party Drunkard will assist him willingly.